Posts tagged piece of crap

PFF - Review: The Women in the Fifth

The Women in the Fifth Is a french Fight Club drama piece-of-crap gone horribly wrong. If you want to see a movie where Ethan Hawke is really depressed and has sex with lots of women to try and compensate for it this is the film for you.

Ethan Hawke’s performance in this is comparable to smearing poop on the Mona Lisa. The material here, depending on how it was displayed, had the potential to really shine. However Hawke makes it so uninteresting to the point of frustration that I found myself rooting for his death 10 minutes into the film.

Skip this. Big time.

1.5 pieces of poop out of 10

Review: Hannah

Hannah is an example of what an action movie should be. It’s visually engaging, the story intrigues the audience, and the action, kicks major ass. All of those combined equal this amazing action film that is so edgy that it is in a league of it’s own comparatively.

I have not seen a serious action movie as of late that has been as highly polished as Hannah. The original concept of this film borrows from a lot of elements from other movies, but even so it’s own feeling and twist, creates something fresh. Movies like Battle Los Angeles are directed to a T, however their plots and their characters all feel so damn reused that it feels like I’m watching the same movie I saw a few years ago. The originality is completely lost. Hannah lacks a bit in this department, feeling very Bourne esque, but it still diverges enough from that formula to feel like something new.

This film is highly adult, even with a kid as the main role. The cursing, the blood, the everything, there is not reason for a kid to see this film. The grit goes with the style of the film. Without that, this film would be a PG-13 flaming piece of crap. Hannah’s roughness is what makes it feel different but yet feel so generically fun.

If your looking for something to hit your action nerves go see Hannah. It will shock you with it’s unique style and awesome visuals, not to mention the soundtrack that is worth getting with or without seeing the movie. Chemical Brother’s KICK ASS!

8 Little girls kicking ass movies out of 10


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Review: The Green Hornet - Artistic Comedy

Months back I read on the interwebs that The Green Hornet was going to be a piece of crap. Thank god that rumor was as trustworthy as a Verizon iPhone rumor from the Wall Street Journal. The Green Hornet is quite possibly the most fun I’ve had in the theaters since Piranha. The action was completely different than anything we’ve seen done before, mixing styles found in comic book movies (Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World) along with hints of the action in The Matrix movies, and the good Jackie Chan movies. This unique combo created a film that is pure enjoyment to watch (minus the incredibly not hot Cameron Diaz).

You can tell this movie is held together by Michel Gondry who used his unique visual style to bring something new to the “action movie” The fight scenes feel fluid and create a sweet sense of power. Kickin’ ass and taking names. Seth Rogen, and kinda most of this movie, is rough around the edges in the beginning, they all seem to not understand what the fuck their doing. But if you can get through the first 10 minutes or so Seth Rogen becomes entertaining without constantly smoking pot and Christoph Waltz plays a very unique and hilarious villain.

The story, the plot, the total lack of anything referencing the original creates a fresh new look into what a comic book movie can be. I thought I was going to get more and more aggravated with all these comic book films. Green Hornet has changed my mind about that.If you like movies at all do yourself a favor and go see this. 3D or not you will leave happy. If your a Green Hornet fanboy… you’ll be upset, but what did you expect with Rogen?

9 Double Barreled Guns out of 10 

Film snob score - 7.5/10 (They need more arc to keep me believing)