Posts tagged final destination

Review: A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

I love the Harold and Kumar movies. I love Christmas. Putting the crude and rude with the joy and merriment of Christmas is… Well.. Fucking Brilliant.

This movie was made for 3D. Take Final Destination (The newest one) where the gags and tricks take use of the fact it is in 3D. This film takes that element incredibly seriously. From the 3D weed smoke to the Christmas Tree blasting through a window to 3D semen coming at you there is no shortage of things coming in your face (PUN!!!!). Taking 3D to a whole new level is an understatement for this film. Even Jackass 3D didn’t go this far, especially with Penises.

I have not found a comedy in 2011 that I have liked as much as this. From Hangover 2 to Bridesmaids nothing compares to the solid script this is built around. NPH brings his A-Game along with all the other usual characters as they traverse the Christmas terrain. Take every Christmas movie you have ever seen and turn it vulgar and you get this movie. And what is amazing about it… It really works.

It’s crassness is its savior, the cocaine baby is hilarious, but the 3D brings it over the top. This film is smart at points, but highly entertaining in every sense of the word that you can think of involving a Waffle Bot. Remember kids. Pancakes are fucking gay.

10 Stoners out of 10

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Review: Final Destination 5

These films are all the same….. Same format, same bad acting, same bad plot, but what makes Final Destination 5 work is that they took it all to the next level. EXTREME!!!! MOUNTAIN DEW!!! FOOTBALL!!! SAUSAGE!!!!

The premise of these movies, if you aren’t familiar with them, is that there is an elaborate death sequence at the beginning of each film in which every main character dies. This is then shown to be a “vision” in which the main character sees the future. Afterwards he goes and grabs a bunch of his or her friends and saves them from the impending disaster. Soon death comes to kill them all because “there isn’t enough room for them on the earth”

I remember watching the first few Final Destination movies and being blown away by the violent death sequences that always took you by surprise. A character would die in the most elaborate and creative way that would not only shock the viewer by how violent it was but by how it happened as well. But now, audiences expect that. So how do you fix that? Take it further and they totally fucking did.

This film was made for 3D and it bleeds it, literally. The deaths are all designed to pop out at the audience like a heart sticking out while resting on top of the sailboat or an iron stick stabbing through someones eye and into the audience. Even without that 3D even this film retains a healthy level of violence but with the 3D it really shines. There are mass amounts of blood and gore for any horror fan. I don’t remember seeing a horror film in ages that had the audience going as much as it did with Final Destination 5. Their excitement is what makes a film like this worth seeing, especially in a theater, especially in 3D.

As much as I hate 3D at times films that really embrace it and make it work are the reason 3D is a viable artistic medium, creating emotions that you can with a 2D film, but are over exaggerated when it literally comes out in your face.

If you saw Piranha 3D this is basically the same thing with a bit more surprise and less just pure destruction. If you can’t handle blood you won’t make it through the beginning credits and you sure as hell won’t make it through the rest of the movie.

If our review was for film quality then it would be a 4 out of 10, but luckily our reviews are less snobby than that and based on pure entertainment value. Did you expect fucking citizens cane walking into final destination 5? Or did you expect to be shocked and surprised?

7.5 broken bones out of 10


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The Current State of 3D - Final Destination 5 Vs. Glee: The Concert 3D

The 3D gimmick is slowly falling to the wayside as quickly as phrases like “all that and a bag of potato chips” and “Jenny from the block”. What we are left with now are countless animated movies popping in 3D and live action movies that are more like thrill rides than actual movies.

Starting with Avatar, the 3D concept hit the studios with a bang! They thought that we, the consumers, would go see every film ever made as long as something popped out at us. (that’s what she said) The market became saturated with films that didn’t use 3D to it’s full capabilities which led to higher ticket prices for seemingly no reason whatsoever. (Clash of the Titans, Harry Potter, The Last Airbender, I could go on and on) Suddenly an expensive afternoon at the movies went from $50 to over $100. This increase kept people from even traveling out to the theaters. We began to stay in and rent whatever was On Demand that week.

With things finally calming down, and many films coming out in 2D again, or the production and understanding of 3D films becoming more worth the experience, we are left with two types of 3D films. Glee and Final destination 5.

Glee 3D has absolutely no reason to be in 3d. It does not benefit from it, nor is the 3D really all that good. The whole thing isn’t even in 3D. It is purely a gimmick to get people to go see the film. If The concert wasn’t enough for the gleeks of the world to go see this movie the idea of Finn in 3D will surely wet their appetite.

Again this film has no reason whatsoever to be in 3D. I feel like i cannot say that enough. The only reason it is in 3D is to create a higher profit for the movie company releasing it.

On the other hand you have Final Destination 5 which is built around the idea it would be 3D. Right from the start, the titles throw you straight into the film with a spectacle of violent 3D glass breaking, blood spilling, and exploding credits that know exactly what it is trying to do. Each death in the film is an increasingly crazy spectacle of 3D horror that is ridiculously fun to watch (if your into that kinda stuff) and scream at.

But when you get to the films plot and story, you are basically left with nothing. It’s laughable at many moments throughout the film from the acting to the dialogue. But that’s what it was going for. It wasn’t trying to have content, It was only meant to have a stupid story string together a bunch of over-the-top, ridiculous death sequences that were even more violent because they literally threw the blood in your face.

No 3D film has married content and 3D in the way avatar did minus the animated spectacles we see every few months or do. Where are the films directors promised us that would benefit from the 3D? So far we have films like Jackass 3D, Transformers 3, and Final Destination 5, sequels of franchises that are built around visual and emotion rather than plot.

But that leads to the question, would films like “One Day” (Lone Scherfig’s new character study film) benefit at all from being in 3D? Would the depth in a shot create a more dramatic and important visual that helped to demonstrate the visual motifs of the film? Would the depth of an empty street add to the idea the character feels empty? Why aren’t art house directors working with 3D?

Realistically it’s because of cost and tech and experience. You really need to get someone who knows 3D to help create the desired effect. Once 3D becomes cheaper this humble reporter believes that many more art house films will be in 3D. Like when cameras were first invented we are only still learning how to use them to effectively send the message to the audience. How to create emotion, or how to string together visuals and sounds to have a new sense of wonder.

That along with the fact that old people and hipsters seem to be the only ones watch good movies these days (And those people watch their films on demand at home on their couch through Comcast smoking pot and re-watching Dazed and Confused until they can recite the whole movie back to front) feel like reasons the whole 3D thing might not be in every movie for the rest of time.

So where will films go now? Will they all be in 3D? Will we watch them all at home and never actually go to the movies?

No way. But since there is a 3D Glee Concert movie playing a limited engagement for the next two weeks in a theater near you, it just seems like the world is starting to implode.

Looking towards the future though. Check out the new trailer for A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas!