Posts tagged elements

Review: Pirates of the Caribbean “On Stranger Tides”

Just a question Hollywood, when are you going to realize that you need to create more original content? I’m sick of watching you create sequel after sequel hoping that it turns out to be a huge cash cow.

Pirates of the Caribbean is a film that is in that grey area. It does a lot of things much better than it’s predecessors (2 and 3) but it falls way short as the best Of the Pirates series. Each of the films continually try to emulate the energy of the first film and all of them never really get there. It’s rare to have a good sequel, but there’s a point that you need to stop trying to make one. The Fast and Furious series learned from their mistakes to create a revamped series of films that are awesome and fun to watch. pirates feels like it’s been done before. I watch it and think, I already saw this a few years ago but it was way more elaborate and had Keira Knightley in it to keep me occupied.

Johnny Depp, as much fun as he is to watch, never really kicks it up to the level of energy he needs for the film. He almost doesn’t seem to enjoy what he is doing; like he’s just stuck doing these films because he couldn’t refuse five bazillion dollars. His fling in the film with Penelope Cruz is also all over the place, they are in love, and not, but he is, then he’s not, then she goes nuts, he goes nuts, its all mentally unstable, and it never feels to fully resolve itself. Or at least not enough to make me feel comfortable explaining what the hell happened to a normal human being.

The returning supporting cast brings back their same elements as well, but again, it all feels tired, like they were dragged through the mud to do this film. The fun has been all sucked out of it. The one new cast member, Ian Mcshane, notoriously from “cocksucking” Deadwood, is the best villain I’ve seen on screen for years. He erodes pure evil on screen which is good comparatively with All of the other cast members that were brought back to continue their roles. Ian’s performance makes the rest of the cast look like minor miscreants comparatively. If there were a reason to really go see this movie, it is for Ian Mcshane.

It all feels done before. Besides that it is pretty enjoyable, full of fun moments, well done action sequences and about 30 minutes in total of Penelope Cruz’s breasts.

6.9 Half Naked Mermaids that look like Amanda Seyfried in the trailer out of 10


Review: Hannah

Hannah is an example of what an action movie should be. It’s visually engaging, the story intrigues the audience, and the action, kicks major ass. All of those combined equal this amazing action film that is so edgy that it is in a league of it’s own comparatively.

I have not seen a serious action movie as of late that has been as highly polished as Hannah. The original concept of this film borrows from a lot of elements from other movies, but even so it’s own feeling and twist, creates something fresh. Movies like Battle Los Angeles are directed to a T, however their plots and their characters all feel so damn reused that it feels like I’m watching the same movie I saw a few years ago. The originality is completely lost. Hannah lacks a bit in this department, feeling very Bourne esque, but it still diverges enough from that formula to feel like something new.

This film is highly adult, even with a kid as the main role. The cursing, the blood, the everything, there is not reason for a kid to see this film. The grit goes with the style of the film. Without that, this film would be a PG-13 flaming piece of crap. Hannah’s roughness is what makes it feel different but yet feel so generically fun.

If your looking for something to hit your action nerves go see Hannah. It will shock you with it’s unique style and awesome visuals, not to mention the soundtrack that is worth getting with or without seeing the movie. Chemical Brother’s KICK ASS!

8 Little girls kicking ass movies out of 10


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